One minute, your child is having fun laughing and rolling around on the carpet. The next thing you know, they’re hiding under the table, crying. Welcome to the “big emotions” of early childhood. They can feel loud, intense, and overwhelming—not only for the child experiencing them, but also for the parents who want to help and may not know what to do at that moment.
Emotional highs and lows are a normal part of growing up. We’re not born knowing how to handle our feelings, and learning to regulate our emotions takes time. Emotional regulation is a skill that children learn over time through modelling, support, and repeated practice.
If you’re a parent reading this and feeling unsure about how to support your child through big emotions, you’re not alone. Let’s take a look at some helpful emotional regulation strategies for parents to teach their kids; the first step is to address the concept itself.
What is Emotional Regulation?
The term ’emotional regulation’ refers to the capacity to identify, understand, and manage emotions in a healthy manner. For children, this may look like learning to say ‘I’m angry,’ asking for help, taking a break, or using a calming strategy with adult support instead of reacting impulsively.
Put more simply, emotional regulation is all about how someone deals with and reacts to their feelings, usually in ways that are healthy and appropriate. It’s pretty common for kids to need a little help, support, and reminders on how to manage their emotions effectively. Overall, it’s a skill that evolves over time—provided that children have the right support.
11 Helpful Strategies to Encourage Emotional Regulation at Home
1: Name the emotion
Use straightforward and clear language when helping your child recognize their feelings. Try saying things like: “You seem frustrated, is it because you wanted more time to play?” You could also encourage your child to draw, colour, or write down their emotions to help them articulate how they feel.
2: Validate emotions
These are moments where the best thing you can do is reassure your child that all the big emotions in that moment are valid and that experiencing them is a natural part of life. Instead of trying to stop the emotion right away, start by acknowledging it in simple language. For example: ‘I know you’re upset. You really wanted more time to play.’ Feeling understood can help children feel safer and more ready to calm down. Ultimately, it’s how we respond to these feelings in these moments that truly counts.
3: Calming techniques
Many children need an adult to help them calm before they can use strategies independently. You can offer simple options such as taking deep breaths together, squeezing a soft toy, moving to a quieter space, or drawing what they feel. Providing them with options empowers them to try different things when managing their emotional reactions.
4: Model Calm and Co-Regulation
Children often learn regulation by watching how adults respond to stress. When parents pause, use a calm voice, and name their own feelings appropriately, children begin to learn what regulation can look like. Saying things like, “I’m feeling tired after a long day at work and need a few quiet moments” teaches them about boundaries and self-awareness.
5: Puppets
Puppets can help children talk about emotions in a playful and less pressured way. For example, a puppet can say, ‘I feel sad because my tower fell down,’ and the child can help the puppet choose what to do next. This gives children a safe way to practise emotional vocabulary, problem-solving, and flexible thinking.
6: Think out loud
When your child listens to your thought process, it aids them in learning how to manage frustration and tackle problems. For example: “Oh no! My favourite shopping bag has a tear in it. I should probably grab another one before heading to the grocery store.”
7: Read bedtime stories
Story time can be a natural opportunity to talk about emotions, choices, and problem-solving. Encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings by asking questions like: “What do you think he should do next?” “How do you think she feels about what he said?” “What would you do if you were in this character’s shoes?”
8: Collaborate on tasks
Shared tasks can help children practise patience, following steps, asking for help, and tolerating small frustrations in a low-pressure setting. Rather than telling your child to tackle a household task by themselves, join them in the process. You could work together to fold laundry, set the table, sweep the floors, or put away toys. To make it easier for your child to participate, consider shortening the handle of a broom to fit their size or giving them smaller chunks of the task.
9: Engage in games
Card and board games, as well as outdoor activities like tag or hopscotch, can naturally create chances for children to learn about emotional regulation, for example being patient while taking turns, cooperation, or managing frustration. While enjoying these games together, prioritize having fun over the competitive parts i.e. winning or losing.
10: Anticipate and address potential issues
If your child is still struggling with their emotions, it doesn’t hurt to prepare. For example, before one of their friends visits, help your child in putting away any toys they’re not wanting to share.
Before a new or challenging situation, briefly explain what will happen and what your child can expect. For example: ‘First, we will wait for the bus. Then we will sit together on the bus. After that, we will walk to the park.’ Visual schedules, first-then language, and reminders about what comes next can help children feel more prepared.
11: Practice Calming Techniques in Advance
When a child is already overwhelmed, it can be very difficult for them to learn a brand-new strategy. Calming tools are usually most effective when they are introduced and practised during calm, predictable moments. Instead, try to teach them calming techniques during predictable times where your child feels secure and supported.
Here are some effective calming methods:
- Deep belly breaths. Encourage your child to place their hands on their belly and take slow, deep breaths in and out. This physical cue helps them concentrate on their breathing and activates the body’s natural calming response.
- Movement breaks. Quick activities such as jumping jacks or animal walks can help release pent-up energy.
- Guided imagery. Ask your child to visualize blowing bubbles or floating on a cloud. These relaxing mental images can alleviate stress and distract from overwhelming emotions.
- Positive self-talk: Teach simple phrases such as ‘I can take a break,’ ‘I can ask for help,’ or ‘It’s okay to feel upset.’
- Yoga poses. Simple poses like Child’s Pose, Starfish Stretch, or gentle stretching can provide calming body input and support slower breathing.
- Therapeutic Play. Play-based activities such as drawing feelings, using sensory bins, or acting out emotions with toys can help children process feelings in a developmentally appropriate way.
- The “1-2-3 breathe” exercise. Try a simple breathing pattern such as smelling a flower and blowing out a candle. For older children, you can practise breathing in for three counts and breathing out slowly for three counts.
The Importance of Teaching Emotional Regulation
Studies have shown that these methods not only enhance mental well-being, but also they help parents resolve tougher moments such as meltdowns more effectively.
By teaching children to identify and manage their emotions, they become more capable of:
- Establishing healthy relationships
- Solving problems and making decisions more easily
- Coping with stress and transitions
- Developing resilience and confidence
When children do not yet have the support or tools to manage big emotions, they may experience more challenges with transitions, peer interactions, learning, and daily routines. However, the good news is that emotional regulation can be taught at any given time, beginning with the foundation of understanding.
When You Need a Little Help
Regularly checking in on your child’s feelings can really help keep the lines of communication open. And remember, you’re not on this parenting journey alone.
Not every strategy will work for everyone since we all have our own unique situations, but there’s support available for you and your family right at Sparkling Seeds. We’re committed to offering evidence-based programs aimed at the early intervention stage for kids, which can enhance their emotional and social skills, such as our Emotional Toolbox for Kids program.
Our programs focus on equipping parents, caregivers, and families with the strategies and support they need and are tailored to meet each child’s unique needs and help them flourish.
Book a consultation today if you would like to learn more about our programs and how we can best help your child and family.
